How do you cope with the desire to be paralyzed?

You are definitely not alone. Many people experience the desire for spinal cord injury (SCI) or paralysis. Coping strategies vary from person to person. Some find relief in "simming" (using a wheelchair in private), engaging with supportive communities like this one to break the isolation, or working with a non-judgmental therapist using CBT to manage the anxiety and obsessive thoughts during peak "Wave" periods. The most important step is exactly what you did: reaching out and knowing you are not broken.