Community Guidelines & Terms of Use

1. Privacy is the foundation

Anonymity here is a feature, not a bug. People share things on talking.bid they cannot share anywhere else. Protect that.

• No doxxing. Don't share, dig for, or expose anyone's real name, location, workplace, family, photos, or other identifying details - not other members, not people from outside the site.
• Not a gossip board. Respect what people choose to keep private. Don't speculate publicly about who someone "really is."
• Consequences are strict. A first offense gets a strong warning. Severe cases or repeats result in a permanent ban with no appeal.

Your own anonymity is yours to manage. You can hide your activity, bio, and profile fields at any time from your settings.

2. Body identity vs. self-modification methods

This is the line the community is built on. Read it carefully.

Welcome here:

• Talking about your experience with BIID, body dysphoria, transabled identity, and related conditions
• Asking for support, sharing what you're going through, processing feelings
• Discussing therapy, professional resources, lived experience
• Asking questions about identity, history, and community

Not allowed:

• Step-by-step instructions for acquiring a disability or modifying your body through harm - amputation guides, freezing or necrosis protocols, nerve-damage methods, ingestion of caustics, DIY surgery, eye-damage methods, or anything in the same category.
• Framing such instructions as "research," "for educational purposes," "asking for a friend," or any other reframe. The content is the issue, not the wrapper.
• Recommending specific methods to other members in posts, replies, or DMs.
• Sharing external links whose primary purpose is to host such instructions.

Consequences: Method content is removed immediately on discovery, no warning. Repeat posting is a permanent ban. We may also notify external platforms where the material is hosted.

3. Connection is the work

We are not anti-goal. We are anti-isolation.

People living with BIID, dysphoria, or any related identity reach the lives they want by connecting with the right people - not by acting alone, and not by following steps from a stranger online. That is the single most important thing this community can offer you, and the single most important thing you can do for yourself.

• Build your network. Find peers who get it. Find clinicians who actually listen. Find friends and allies you can be honest with. Use this forum to meet them, but understand that the deepest support happens in ongoing relationships, not in single threads.
• The right professional exists. A BIID-aware therapist, doctor, or counselor is rare but real. Members here have found them. Ask, and the community will share names, regions, and approaches that have worked.
• Long-game over short-game. Identity work takes years, sometimes decades. Anyone promising a shortcut - especially one involving harm - is offering you something other than what you actually want.
• Your goals are valid. Your method choices have weight. We will not tell you what to want. We will be straight with you about what we've seen work and what we've seen destroy people.

If you don't know where to start, post and ask. Someone here has been where you are.

The people who write those documents are honest about steps and dishonest about everything else. They don't tell you about the room you can't leave once it's done. They don't tell you which friendships survive the explanation, or which family stops calling six months in when it stops being a crisis and starts being a permanent fact. They don't tell you that the body was the smaller part of the work.

Before anything else: talk to one person who knows you. Not me - someone in your actual life. If there is no one yet, that is the work to do first.

- Phantom

4. Self-harm and crisis

If you are struggling, please reach out to someone who can actually help.

Israel:

• ERAN (ער"ן) - 1201 from within Israel, free and anonymous, 24/7. Hebrew, Arabic, Russian, Amharic, and English at varying hours.
• ERAN from outside Israel - the 1201 short-code does not dial internationally. Use one of these instead:
  • WhatsApp: +972-52-8451201
  • SMS: +972-52-9993544
  • Online chat: eran.org.il
  • Email: eran1201@eran.org.il
• SAHAR - text/chat-based emotional support in Hebrew and English, sahar.org.il. Free, anonymous.
• NATAL (trauma & PTSD) - 1-800-363-363 from Israel.

International:

• 988 (US Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) - call or text
• Samaritans - 116 123 (UK & Ireland)
• Worldwide directory: findahelpline.com

We are members of a community, not crisis professionals. Posts that promote, encourage, or detail self-harm are not allowed. If a post worries us about someone's safety, a mod may reach out by DM with resources - that's a wellness check, not a warning.

5. Basic decency

• Treat people with respect. Harassment, slurs, targeted hostility, and abuse are not tolerated.
• No spam, no promotion, no malicious links.
• Stay in your lane. Don't lecture people about their identity or push unsolicited "you should get help" replies in personal threads. If you're genuinely worried about someone, message a mod.
• Soft-rule consequences: warning → temporary posting restriction → ban, depending on severity and repetition.

6. Adult content

Some discussions and imagery here are not appropriate for minors. If a post contains graphic medical, body, or sexual content, the poster must have the adult flag enabled on their account, and the post may be hidden behind a content warning. Accounts without the adult flag cannot view or post such content.

Sexual content involving minors is an immediate, permanent ban and is reported to the appropriate authorities.

7. Moderation

• We act in good faith and explain our actions when we can.
• Mods may remove, edit, hide, or lock content, and may restrict or ban accounts.
• If you think a moderation action was wrong, reply to the notification - we read every appeal.
• These guidelines may evolve. We will note material changes in an announcement, not silently.

8. Your data, your property

• You own your content and your account.
• You can delete your account at any time from settings. When you do, your account, posts, replies, sent DMs, and profile data are permanently removed.
• Content quoted by other members in their own posts may remain, but your authorship will be anonymized.
• We do not sell user data. We do not run third-party advertising on user data. The platform runs on Cloudflare infrastructure and uses cookies only for authentication and session management.

9. Disclaimers

• Content is user-generated. We do not endorse, verify, or guarantee the accuracy of anything posted by members. Use your judgment.
• As-is service. The site is provided as-is, without warranty. We aim for high uptime but cannot guarantee it.
• No medical or legal advice. Nothing you read here is medical, legal, or professional advice. Talk to a real professional.

By using talking.bid you agree to these terms. If you disagree, your account can be closed at any time from settings.