Blind & Deaf Identity
The desire to be blind or deaf represents the sensory spectrum of Body Integrity Dysphoria (BID). While less frequently discussed in public writing about BID, sensory identity is a recognized and fully valid expression of the condition. People with blind or deaf identity experience an involuntary, persistent sense that their sight or hearing does not belong to them - that their true sensory state should be different.
Finding community when your specific experience sits at the less-visible edge of an already under-documented condition is genuinely difficult. This page and the BID forum exist to make that easier.
Blind Identity
People with blind identity experience their functional vision as something that does not match their internal self-image. This may manifest as a profound discomfort with being sighted, a sense that navigating the world without sight would feel more natural or correct, or an overwhelming recognition when imagining or experiencing visual impairment.
A common simulation approach for blind identity is the use of opaque scleral lenses - contact lenses that fully block vision, allowing a person to spend time experiencing blindness in a safe and reversible way. The practical, medical, and emotional dimensions of this practice are discussed in the community.
Deaf Identity
Deaf identity - the persistent felt sense that one should be Deaf - shares neurological roots with other forms of BID while also intersecting with the broader Deaf culture and community. People with deaf identity may find that using hearing protection or spending time in silence provides temporary relief, in the same way that simulation functions for other BID expressions.
The relationship between deaf identity (as a BID expression) and the Deaf cultural community is something discussed thoughtfully in this forum. Those with deaf identity are welcome here regardless of where they stand on that intersection.
Neurological Roots
The same neurological framework that explains amputation and paralysis identity applies to sensory identity. The brain's processing of sensory input is mediated by specific cortical regions, and BID research suggests that in affected individuals, the representation of the target sense (sight, hearing) in the body schema is fundamentally disrupted. This is not a choice, a phase, or a fixation - it is the way the nervous system is organized.
Read more about the neurological basis of BID on our What is BID page.
Coping and Community
Managing sensory identity involves many of the same tools that help with other BID expressions: understanding the cyclical intensity of The Wave, finding safe simulation practices, and above all, knowing that other people understand exactly what you are experiencing. That is what this community offers.
Sources & Further Reading
- World Health Organization, ICD-11 for Mortality and Morbidity Statistics — search "Body integrity dysphoria" (code 6C21).
- First, M.B. (2005). "Desire for amputation of a limb: paraphilia, psychosis, or a new type of identity disorder." Psychological Medicine, 35(6), 919–928. — the paper that proposed BIID as a distinct identity disorder.
- Giummarra, M.J., Bradshaw, J.L., Nicholls, M.E.R., Hilti, L.M., & Brugger, P. (2011). "Body integrity identity disorder: deranged body processing, right fronto-parietal dysfunction, and phenomenological experience of body incongruity." Neuropsychology Review, 21(4), 320–333.
- PubMed: further peer-reviewed literature on body integrity dysphoria →
This list is a starting point for your own reading, not a substitute for a qualified clinician. If you're looking for care, a therapist experienced with body-image and identity conditions is a reasonable place to start.